The Power of The Pause

Though we have relatively fixed personality styles, such as extroverted, introverted, outspoken or reserved, we are much more complex than a few words, and actually have a ton of choice about how we show up each day. However accurate those general descriptions might be, when we insert a pause before we proceed, we arrive at many more options. A quiet, reserved person shares an incredibly compelling opinion that solves a nagging problem. An outspoken, dominant leader decides to listen rather than direct, allowing the team to resolve an issue without their usual guidance. Both of these choices are powerful moves, having far greater potential for making a difference than proceeding with our limited 'default' personality each time we interact. How do we put ourselves in the best position to make these choices? Enter the power of the pause. It forms the foundation of being at our own control panel to engage, influence, give others what they need and get what we need from them.

Pausing, taking a few seconds to be fully present, assess the context, and decide how to proceed, is a habit we can practice. Pausing asks us:

• Who am I impacting?

• What do they need from me?

• What do I need from them?

• What is the best way to engage at this time?

These four questions never lose their relevancy. From a passing 'hello' to giving an important presentation, we choose how we show up and how others perceive us. Two common barriers we must overcome to avoid unconsciously operating from our default personality style: 1) Moving so fast that we don't think about, much less practice, pausing before proceeding and 2) Underestimating the power we have to influence the outcomes we produce.

Showing up without pausing is certainly the easier route...we know how to do it after years of practice and we can easily fool ourselves that we don't have time to ponder these questions. But before you surrender to that path, ask yourself if those people most important to you are getting the best of you or, if they are getting your default script.